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New Year, New Intention

Most of the time the Facebook memory feature is a little cringy. (no Facebook I do not want to see that photo of my ex and I from 9 years ago, thanks but no thanks.) But every once in awhile, it pulls through! It reminded me of this time last year that I publicly declared my intention for 2019, acceptance.

I spent some time this morning reflecting on the ways I manifested this intention and the times I could have practiced it more.

I’m going to be honest, I really struggled with acceptance this past year. I’m a recovering perfectionist with an internal critic that scream talks like Billy Eichner. As a sick and twisted cue from the universe, this year I was given “growth opportunity” after “growth opportunity” in which I was inevitably going to come up short- that getting everything done to my impossible standards was not feasible.

My response to these situations was a mental tug a war in which there were no winners. In a tear-filled phone conversation late one night while I was trying to get a weeks worth of documentation done in one day, a wise woman told me I can always drop the rope.

These past few months, I’ve dropped the rope. Prioritizing the things that I need to get done well, and letting myself off the hook for the other stuff. It hasn’t been easy. My internal billy eichner constantly yells at me to pick the rope back up. But the best strategy I’ve found for not indulging him is to surround myself with other people that are vulnerably and authentically doing the same thing. I want to thank all the people in my life that are not afraid to admit when they come up short, and are willing to laugh along with me.

What was your intention for last year? How did it go? I’ll be sharing my 2020 intention with you all tomorrow.

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